xoxo moonit, girl

Posted by dana at 2:43 pm on Tuesday, February 3rd, 2009.

I love Yelp.  I've been using it for a little while for everything from finding the cheapest bridesmaid dress alterations around to getting the scoop on who makes the best biz cards out there, and I recently created an online profile of my very own so that I can contribute my own (gasp!) opinions on what's hot and what's not in NYC. Well today I got an e-mail in my inbox "Yelp Gossips, Girl" that I found to be very effective –moonit can certainly take a page out of Yelp's e-mail newsletter book. If you've ever watched this guilty pleasure and lived vicariously through spoiled metro brats decades younger than you (and dare to admit it), the e-mail was superbly crafted and went something like this…

Gossip Girl here, your one and only source into the scandalous lives of Manhattan's Elite. Elite yelpers that is! While bars to blow your trust fund at and the best dry cleaner for your school uniform are not necessarily hot topics on Talk (or are they?), many a fine yelper spends both time and money uptown. Consider this your up close and personal guide to the Upper East Side.

When she's not scheming, rich chick Blair "burns a big hole in her pocket" at shi shi boutique Intermix where Jenny P also "gets a little pick me up" after a long day. B's squeeze Chuck Bass shops for his dapper bowties at Seigo Neckwear, and fellow tie aficionado Frank W assures the real men of the UES don't need to "cry themselves to sleep any longer" thanks to these babies. After an ambitious afternoon spending old money, Norm G recommends an eclair from Sant Ambroeus: "The people! The facelifts! The "work"!How can anyone resist?" Charming.

Though Brian D lacks Serena's locks, he still likes "to be pampered while getting a trim" at Paul Labrecque Salon on East 65th where, even if you're "very particular about your hair," you'll be pleased to rub elbows with Yasmeen M. After strenuous hair appointments, Christina B and her uptown girls strike a pose at the "spa-like, spacious, and sparkling clean" digs of Pure Yoga – downward dog pose, that is. For a different kind of relaxation, join Steve M at the Plaza's legendary Oak Room to soak in the "atmosphere of Manhattan luxury" while sipping one of their "large, cool and perfectly balanced" martinis. Prohibition never stood a chance against exhibition!

Despite the fact that gossip girls aren't known to actually eat much of anything, Olga O takes a social nosedive and "gorges on pastries at Cafe Sarbarsky, inside the Neue Galerie museum" when meandering down "Museum Mile." Another social recluse, Sav B, slips under the radar at Auction House where he admits the UES "has done something right and may still deserve a chance" after a few well-mixed gin gimlets. And since art and money tend to make even the most dignified yelper a wee bit parched, pull up a stool next to Joleen Z at Bemelman's Bar at the Carlyle. After all, "sometimes you just need a break from the ghetto fab MePa and feel like a little Franky boy." As Gossip Girl would say, "Don't get mad, get in."

xoxo.